Great point. Another thing I loved that I read somewhere was “true friends will be happy for your successes as well as your failures”. So when you realise that you are having to purposely “talk down” or dismiss any happiness or successes you’ve had, what a sad situation! Definitely a cue to cull and follow your point above. Your new friends sound awesome.

One really fantastic outcome for me has bee the discovery (as you mentioned) of new friends and friendship groups. My new friends are genuinely just as (or nearly) excited and delighted by my success as I am, as I am for them. We support and buoy each other, they seem to bring out the best in me and have higher expectations of me than myself at times.
Focus and surround yourself with those who lift you, politely listen to the reasons your current family and friends bitch, whinge and complain all the time knowing that there is something better out there for anyone who wants to reach for it.
All the best to you and your success in the future.
Debbie

Family hesitant regarding bold business plans, they don’t mean any harm, but they just don’t understand what makes you tick – “Why don’t you just stick to your existing well paying career, it’s much safer and you’re already doing well”. By “doing well” they mean earning more money than they did. But it’s not all just about “salary”, it’s about time, balance, fitness, well being and satisfaction in what you do.

Then there are the friends who pretend to be “happy for you” on the surface but then are quick to ask depressing questions and try to pick to pieces your new found successes. They are bitter because they started out when you did, e.g. same high school etc yet you have rapidly overtaken them and they can see it. Even when you never brag and keep perfectly quiet about anything you’ve done well, they can smell it in your happiness and it makes them feel like they’ve failed. Because after all, they came from the same “stock” or “background” as you, right.

I have one mate who is by and large an all round excellent mate on the surface, but deep down underneath, cannot stand me being happy and successful. He regrets that I have a much greater zest for life than he does. I get the token “Wow mate, that must be great” comments on the surface, but then soon they are followed by “Oh, is that depressing mate? Surely there must be downsides.. Noone is really happy right?” kind of thing. Every comment out of his mouth is about the drawbacks and downsides of life. A really tragic attitude to be. I realise as hard as it is, I have to cul these people, because every time I read an email from him, it is ever so slightly depressing just to be around people like that and I know I waste mental cycles brewing up about it.

Best to leave these people to work out their own paths/journeys and later realise that they used to be depressing/difficult anchors to be around.

I have new friends who I met later in life, and therefore didn’t grow up with me or come from the same high school as me. When they met me, they only met the newer/modern me, they didn’t really see the path I’ve taken to get here. They fully accept me for who I am and don’t feel threatened.

The biggest lesson for me out of this is that if you are an ambitious/driven person, you will constantly be “knocked down” (tall poppy syndrome), most of all by those who saw you actually get to where you are. So the best thing (and a difficult decision to make) is to actually cull those longer term friends who try to hold you back with them and to renew your friendships as you’ve stated above.

I’ve been in careers where I was age 24 and managing 20 people, all older than me. The main pressure from a job like that was avoiding all the mud being thrown at you simply for being “young”. It’s the same with property investing and this Australian mentality of “how many houses do you have”, people ask the question, because they are curious, but then gulp in pain if they don’t like the answer. Why do they ask? Then they will come back with the “Oh my friend of a friend has 8 properties” kind of thing.

Then there are the other type of long term friends who always seek to “catch up” every 6 months or so, simply to give you an update on their latest successes and quickly measure if they have “caught up to you” yet. Quite painful to listen to, it’s just pure bragging and ego stroking etc. “Hey mate, how are you, it’s been ages, well listen, I’m on 130k/year now and just buying my second property, so how have you been???”. Even if I’m making 200k and have 5 properties, I’m not going to obviously reply with that and bring myself down to their same bragging level am I. So what do you do? Again, best to cull these people.

The most difficult thing about being ambitious is the crap that it inadvertantly thrown at you.

CULL CULL CULL